.be happy for this moment.this moment is your life.

I have my placement in Calgary which is really nice, b/c my dad can drive me to work in the morning, and I get to be at home for a while!...I"m in sub acute neuro rehab...so basically working with stroke and MS patients. It is super interesting, and I"ve learned a ton already in just a week! I've mainly just been observing my preceptor (the OT I'm working with), but next week i'm supposed to get to do more hands-on type stuff with a couple of our clients. I won't go into too much detail, but basically all we have been doing with clients it getting the one's who have had a stroke to work on their grasping with their affected hand, as well as working on some posture stuff with them. MS clients its more transfers (so from wheelchair to toilet, tub, bed etc) and dressing/grooming assessments. So far I have gotten to administer an screening test (for cognition basically) called the MMSE/mini-mental - its basically to see if they are oriented, can do simple math, tests short term memory...stuff like that.

and no news from jeff yet *sigh* I'm not sure if i should give up on that or not (and i haven't had time to talk to Oasis about him yet either - so that may shed some light on the subject...)

and that is all for now - I'm going outside to enjoy the last of the warm weather~

Ok, this is the story of last night…kinda abridged, and stolen from an MSN convo. b/c I am that lazy, and tired (you may get the full story at some point haha)

i went out with one of my OT friends (andrea) and her roommate (erin), and we ended up at this bar on campus (the powerplant). so, there ended up being lots of couples, and andrea and erin were getting angry at people pushing them accidentally on the dance floor, so we went up to the 2nd level (which has tables and chair and stuff) to watch the dance floor and make fun of people (keep in mind that we had been drinking...the other 2 a lot more than me). so andrea's like, dare me to hit on any of the guys down there (yeah - she's kinda crazy!!!) so erin picks out this really sleaze-bag guy...leather jacket, looked kinda older and andrea goes for it, and somehow these 2 guys come up top to talk to erin and i (i don't know if they knew they guy, or if they were just watching us laugh at her). so the one guy's talking to erin, and brings up that he has a girlfriend, and then keeps hitting on her, and ends up asking for her number. but the other guy was just kinda sitting there, and was kept asking me if I knew what they were talking about? and i kept saying i had no idea. there was a chair beside me (at this point he's just kinda "perched" on the table behind us), so i'm like why don't you come sit down. so we just ended up talking....and having an actual conversation. it was really nice. it turns out he lives on the same floor as Matt/oasis/adam brody look-alike. any way this guy i was talking to - jeff is in 2nd year petroleum (so yes...younger than me ), and is a small town boy from around camrose (by edmonton). so we were still talking after his friend left, and he commented that everyone that he knew (except me ) had left, and that he should get going BUT…he was like, can i call you sometime????!!!!!!!! i was like YES! (But then i had to explain that i would be out of town for a month cuz of my placement) àTalk about BAD timing! he was like, ok, thats alright (i don’t' really know if it was an i'll wait around kinda thing, or what), but he has my cell number, so he could call me on that (which i'll have in calgary anyway). i don't know if anything will come of it, but he did give me a half/one-armed hug as he left. he was really sweet, and it was so nice to just talk to someone. ...i was kinda wondering if he would call today, but he did say he had class from 9 to 5 (being in eng...) and maybe he's gotta wait the “token day”. i dunno. i sent matt an email to put in a good word for me with him haha. it was kinda funny, cuz he was going to put my # in his cell phone, but he pulled it out, and then it wouldn't turn on (i think the battery was dead or something), so he's like, well now i feel like an idiot...and i'm like, no its ok, i'll just grab a pen from one of the waitresses. it was kinda cute how awkward he was. and yeah, i'm hoping matt will give me his opinion of jeff - and then i can decide if its worth it too… I mean he didn't make me uncomfortable at all (unlike some of the other guys that kept trying to talk to us).

Well, dear readers – I hope you can get the gist of my night from that…it really is the ultimate laziness. Haha…and I am off to Calgary tomorrow

PS check out the new links :) ---->

Denise…OUT

I think i have lost my ability to write "narratively" since getting into OT...I've written more papers/formal discussion entries on the internet and stuff in the past month, than in my whole like (k....that is exaggerating a bit!). I don't think i can really write informally anymore. I have to write a reflective journal every week- and it sounds like a freaking paper, not my thoughts (granted we do have guiding questions to answer...but still). I also have to make this professional portfolio, and write this introduction statement to what is in my portfolio...which at the moment is a whole lot of nothing. anyway, its supposed to be professional (since its a portfolio), but also "reflect the personality of the author". how the hell am i supposed express my personality while saying what is in my portfolio. according to my parents it sounds "stuffy" - which i agree with, but i don't know how to "unstuffify" it, while still staying sorta formal. Grrrrr so frustrating. this is why i always hated english. I can't make my writing multifuntional.

I start my 1st ever placement on monday, and i'm getting a little nervous. I have really no idea what to expect, let alone what to do. The real only practicle thing that we have learned is how to transfer (ie. move) people. That only gets me so far. I have to make learning objectives, and do 5 freaking projects on top of actually participating in my clinical. its going to be uber stressful to say the least.

Jacqui - i like that improvement plan idea...i'm not quite sure how to make it more concrete (I'm not really an abstract person)...and i really don't htink there is a whole lot i can do in the next 2 days, before i head back to calgary for my placement....i'll have to think on it over the next month though...suggestions?

oh...haha....in other news - i was working at Annies on sunday (they were having a harvest festival, and figured it would be pretty busy, so tracy asked me to work). they had kids "games" outside on the porch - basically decorating mini pumkins, and bobbing for apples (most unsanitary thing BTW). So i'm sitting out there in the sun (can't complain) just kinda supervising, and this guy is sitting out eating a sandwich, and then goes back for dessert. anywya, he comes back out with his carrot cake (haha - yes i noticed what he was eating), and Marnie came out for a bit to visit me. so i'm holding this little girls hair out of the way so she can bob for a mini pumkin to get a caramel apple (we ran out of normal apples), and marnie starts making fun of my hair holding skills (cuz they sucked! haha) Anyway, this guy (who yes is REALLY CUTE) starts talking to me/us. Tracy ends up calling marnie back in, so i'm talking to this guy about random stuff like school, and edmonton and working at annies. turns out he bought a house in midnapore (at this point i'm like...hmmm how old is this guy?), and just got back from a one month trip to ireland to visit his family who lives there (!!!!!). he starts talking about visiting the ubc and uvic campuses and i'm kinda wondering ok....so what is it you do. I didn't get to find out that, or his name/number lol, cuz Sarah (one of the girls that used to work at annies) came and started chatting to me. He ended up leaving, but he did say something along the lines of "see ya" when he left. so i go back in, and the girls are hooting at me (for lack of a better word) and asking if i got a number. Tracy (who for those that don't know is an old family friend, and makes fun of me all the time) was there obviously and started teasing me about being paid to sit and talk to hot guys lol. she wouldnt really drop it, and i got a little ticked off, and made a comment i shouldn't have, which kinda came back to bite me in the arse later that night, when there whole family was over for dinner (i said that her whole family was mean, but what i meant was they were mean to me, as in they tease me all the time). Luckily it wasn't a really big deal, but she definetly gave a play by play of the whole fiasco.

good story, but kinda a disappointing ending (since no name or number, though he could have been older...like 25 or 26....which is out of my current 2 year limit haha)

and an interesting "concept" to leave you with...
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

This is one of the most thought provoking posts I've read in a while. I always find his posts entertaining, and some of them are thought provoking like this one. (wow....my writing is really lame at the moment...proven by the fact i just used the word lame...) I just don't even know what to say, other than how much it seems to apply to me...go read it :) haha

anyway, i am so exhasted...i have insane amounts of projects due in the next week, plus going to calgary for placement for a month and remembering everything i need to take is just adding to my stress *sigh* and i now i don't even know what i want on the topic of relationships....meaning davin....

i guess i can't really think about any of it considering its going to be another month until i'll have a chance to see him. i just want it to be different this time

one of the many AMAZING sunsets :) 

check it out....though at the moment its not all that exciting - it is exiciting that it exists!!!!
http://www.campkasotawest.com/index.htm

i'm not impulsive

thats the problem

and why i'm making such a big deal out of this, i have no idea

there is so much other sh*t going on in the world...and its not that i don't know how lucky i am - i really think i do, i'm a pretty emotional person anyway. but why is it the one thing i'm really missing (or the one who can break my already scarred hearth) is just a phone call away, i'm just to chicken to do it

the friend who gave me his number said to do it when i'm drunk. but that doesn't solve the problem, and thats not the way i want it to be. i always want things to happen differently, but i keep having the freaking "college experiences"...my 1 scandalous act for the year. thats not what i want. i want what my friend has with his friend. is that too much to ask???

I'm so...angry with myself. And yet, I have the ability to change it but i'm not. I could call him, i have the number, but its been freaking 3 weeks. if i had done it earlier maybe, but now i think it would just be more awkward, but on the other hand, i'll always regret it if i don't. I need some moral support if i call though. and then there's the whole going out for pizza thing, but i haven't heard anything, so i'm assuming thats not happening. and then i'll be in calgary for a month - and long-distance, if it was to even turn into something, and i don't really get along. but this time i might be able to make it work. i'll probably be super busy anyway..so many bloody projects. plus i have my girls to hang out with (woo kari and marnie...too its not all of us, but what can ya do?)...keep my mind off it. or just make me think about it constantly. FRICK...its not like i'm not doing that anyway. i can' t stop thinking about him, and playing that night over. why didn't i just freaking give him my number to begin with. ahhhhhhhhhhhh

and this isn't helping....he's probably moved on anyway - i just wish i knew