Saturday, January 05, 2008
T.I.M.E.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine
Staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today
And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun
I was going to say that I thought it was about time for an update, but that sounded kinda lame, considering why else would I be writing after quite a hiatus? The opening lyrics to Pink Floyd's Time seemed more appropriate somehow.
I started this "thing" to keep my sanity in 1st year uni, b/c I disliked the majority of people on my floor in lister (with the exception of a few select people who know who they are), and for the first time in my life, was homesick. I guess it was kinda cathartic/theraputic in a way. Then in turned into something for me to vent/ask for advice about guy problems, which instead of venting, I ended up ruminating over things that now seem trivial (but at the time, definitely weren't). And now, when I'm bored, and realize that people still read, or a least check to see if I've posted anything new on this thing, I'll attept to write something.
I really wonder how different my uni experience would have been had facebook existed back then. All those ?lucky kids (and they truly are just kids) who have it to occupy almost ever spare moment of their student lives. and I'm sure very few of them realize that it was (apparently) designed originally for students to communicate with people in there huge uni classes. Does the "class/courses" function even exist anymore on fb? Probably not. If it does, no one uses it. I think back to the few times I went out in first year (and really all throughout uni), and realize they were fun, but if I had gone out more, it would have been with people that really wouldn't have been with the people that matter to me now. The friends that stuck by me, even though I spent pretty much all of first term in my room. Sad. Not that this is something to be ashamed of, but I can probable count the number of times I have been drunk on 2 hands (and maybe a few extra toes haha), which coming out of uni shouldn't be the case. And really, the majority of my "drunken experiences" were either during the summer, or not with people from school. Interesting.
And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter
That actually hasn't changed since I moved to canmore either. My cousin (who lived here for a ski season) asked me if I'd been to lots of wild parties yet. I, of course, haven't. Mainly b/c the people I work with are pretty much all parents, with the exception of a select few. and its tough when the only person my age has a boyfriend who she lives with, so going out with them is like being the 3rd wheel. Which I have been too many times. Its still fun, b/c her bf is hilarious, but I don't like to infringe on people like that too much.
I don't want thing blog to continue to be somewhere where I just vent and complain all the time. I wish I was better at writing about the positive and funny things too. I think that is a difficult thing to do though. We only really notice when we are unhappy or upset. The rest of the time, it seems like we just go on with our lives, not stopping to enjoy them as much as we should. Life should be worth living all the time, and I wish so many people weren't oblivious to the really good times until it is too late, and they are having another bad day. But I guess things aren't usually fair, and its the age old saying "you don't know what you've got 'till its gone". Cliche but true.
And then there are the people that go in and out of our lives. This might have something to do with fb too, since i've talked to people I've lost touch with. I think its funny b/c I'll talk to those people once or twice, and then go back to just staying in touch with the people I stay in touch with anyway (w/ or w/o fb). Interesting. I really just do a lot of creeping on people (don't lie - you do it too!). I think it just shows what people are really important to us, and those who we are just curious about, and then are happy (or indifferent) to losing contact with again. I read this "young adult" book recently (I am the Messenger, by Markus Zusak). I actually really enjoyed it, and a few lines really struck a cord with me:
"How well do we really let ourselves know each other?"
-This is so true. We don't even tell our best friends everything about us. There are things they know that we tell no one else, but I think we also have friends that we tell things we don't tell our best friends. Isn't that kinda messed up? Everyone has their secrets. Even the most open people.
"Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
But in what they are."
- One day, just go and sit and observe people. Observe them with no hidden agenda, with no intention of cutting them down in your head, but just to observe. I think you will realize how decent most people are, especially when they don't know they are being watched. Ordinary people do extraordinary things all the time. Usually just by being themselves. Their true selves.
And then there are the people you wish could be "that person" in your life. You want to let yourself love them. But put up a wall instead, b/c you think you know better and what to protect yourself. Or want certain things from them, but not everything. I really think (and this may be slightly hippocritical) that we expect too much from some people, but don't allow ourselves to give all of us to them. all our beautys and all our flaws. i heard someone say once, that our flaws are what make us beautiful. But I really think it is more than that. we need to be comfortable with ourselves and our flaws, in order for other people to find us truly beautiful.
Never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to nought
Or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desparation is the English way
The time is gone
The song is over
Thought I'd something more to say
Home, home again I like to be here when I can
When I come home cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine
Staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today
And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun
I was going to say that I thought it was about time for an update, but that sounded kinda lame, considering why else would I be writing after quite a hiatus? The opening lyrics to Pink Floyd's Time seemed more appropriate somehow.
I started this "thing" to keep my sanity in 1st year uni, b/c I disliked the majority of people on my floor in lister (with the exception of a few select people who know who they are), and for the first time in my life, was homesick. I guess it was kinda cathartic/theraputic in a way. Then in turned into something for me to vent/ask for advice about guy problems, which instead of venting, I ended up ruminating over things that now seem trivial (but at the time, definitely weren't). And now, when I'm bored, and realize that people still read, or a least check to see if I've posted anything new on this thing, I'll attept to write something.
I really wonder how different my uni experience would have been had facebook existed back then. All those ?lucky kids (and they truly are just kids) who have it to occupy almost ever spare moment of their student lives. and I'm sure very few of them realize that it was (apparently) designed originally for students to communicate with people in there huge uni classes. Does the "class/courses" function even exist anymore on fb? Probably not. If it does, no one uses it. I think back to the few times I went out in first year (and really all throughout uni), and realize they were fun, but if I had gone out more, it would have been with people that really wouldn't have been with the people that matter to me now. The friends that stuck by me, even though I spent pretty much all of first term in my room. Sad. Not that this is something to be ashamed of, but I can probable count the number of times I have been drunk on 2 hands (and maybe a few extra toes haha), which coming out of uni shouldn't be the case. And really, the majority of my "drunken experiences" were either during the summer, or not with people from school. Interesting.
And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter
That actually hasn't changed since I moved to canmore either. My cousin (who lived here for a ski season) asked me if I'd been to lots of wild parties yet. I, of course, haven't. Mainly b/c the people I work with are pretty much all parents, with the exception of a select few. and its tough when the only person my age has a boyfriend who she lives with, so going out with them is like being the 3rd wheel. Which I have been too many times. Its still fun, b/c her bf is hilarious, but I don't like to infringe on people like that too much.
I don't want thing blog to continue to be somewhere where I just vent and complain all the time. I wish I was better at writing about the positive and funny things too. I think that is a difficult thing to do though. We only really notice when we are unhappy or upset. The rest of the time, it seems like we just go on with our lives, not stopping to enjoy them as much as we should. Life should be worth living all the time, and I wish so many people weren't oblivious to the really good times until it is too late, and they are having another bad day. But I guess things aren't usually fair, and its the age old saying "you don't know what you've got 'till its gone". Cliche but true.
And then there are the people that go in and out of our lives. This might have something to do with fb too, since i've talked to people I've lost touch with. I think its funny b/c I'll talk to those people once or twice, and then go back to just staying in touch with the people I stay in touch with anyway (w/ or w/o fb). Interesting. I really just do a lot of creeping on people (don't lie - you do it too!). I think it just shows what people are really important to us, and those who we are just curious about, and then are happy (or indifferent) to losing contact with again. I read this "young adult" book recently (I am the Messenger, by Markus Zusak). I actually really enjoyed it, and a few lines really struck a cord with me:
"How well do we really let ourselves know each other?"
-This is so true. We don't even tell our best friends everything about us. There are things they know that we tell no one else, but I think we also have friends that we tell things we don't tell our best friends. Isn't that kinda messed up? Everyone has their secrets. Even the most open people.
"Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
But in what they are."
- One day, just go and sit and observe people. Observe them with no hidden agenda, with no intention of cutting them down in your head, but just to observe. I think you will realize how decent most people are, especially when they don't know they are being watched. Ordinary people do extraordinary things all the time. Usually just by being themselves. Their true selves.
And then there are the people you wish could be "that person" in your life. You want to let yourself love them. But put up a wall instead, b/c you think you know better and what to protect yourself. Or want certain things from them, but not everything. I really think (and this may be slightly hippocritical) that we expect too much from some people, but don't allow ourselves to give all of us to them. all our beautys and all our flaws. i heard someone say once, that our flaws are what make us beautiful. But I really think it is more than that. we need to be comfortable with ourselves and our flaws, in order for other people to find us truly beautiful.
Never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to nought
Or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desparation is the English way
The time is gone
The song is over
Thought I'd something more to say
Home, home again I like to be here when I can
When I come home cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells
