Saturday, August 21, 2004
Kasota Love
Aug. 21, 2004
I've always been a better writer than talker when expressing my feelings. There's so much I wanted to say last night, but my emotions just took over, so here goes...(I'm writing this on the bus, and i'm already teary-eyed)
I want you guys to know how much I lover you, and how much spending 2 months of my life with you meant to me. I truly had the time of my life and made memories to last a lifetime.
I don't have to tell you that Kasota isn't just a job to me, and probably to all of us. I think that Oasis hit it bang on last night, when he said that Kasota is love. Just a smile, a joke (be it "bay-gulls", or putting an empty, but sealed milk carton on someone's table), or a kind word can make all the difference in the world to someone like it has to me, and thats what kasota and love are about. You guys have taught me so much about life and myself and what is important to me; I value your friendships more than anything. I just want you guys to know that each and everyone of you means the world to me, and I don't know what I would have done without you this summer.
Algae, you are one of the most kind dedicated and honest guys I have ever met. I admire your sincerity and that you know what has to be said, and how to say it. I just want you to know how much your hugs mean to me, even if they do make me cry. Lastly, I really admire (if thats the right word) what you and Breeze have, and I hope it doens't take my whole life to find that kind of relationship.
We are so lucky to have Kasota. It is our own little sanctuary in a sometimes cruel and unpredictable world. Whenever I"m there, be it training, or with the kids, it feels like I"m coming home. I breathe easier, and I know no matter what, I'm accepted for who I am by all of you. You guys are my rock in a sea of uncertainty that is life.
I look up to all of you, in one way or another be it your confidence, your undying enthusiasm, or your fun-loving attitude. You are beautiful, talented people inside and out, don't ever forget that.
I love you all with all my heart, and each of you holds a special place in it. Thanks for the best summer of my life...I"m better now, for the knowing of you.
Love,
Mistical
I've always been a better writer than talker when expressing my feelings. There's so much I wanted to say last night, but my emotions just took over, so here goes...(I'm writing this on the bus, and i'm already teary-eyed)
I want you guys to know how much I lover you, and how much spending 2 months of my life with you meant to me. I truly had the time of my life and made memories to last a lifetime.
I don't have to tell you that Kasota isn't just a job to me, and probably to all of us. I think that Oasis hit it bang on last night, when he said that Kasota is love. Just a smile, a joke (be it "bay-gulls", or putting an empty, but sealed milk carton on someone's table), or a kind word can make all the difference in the world to someone like it has to me, and thats what kasota and love are about. You guys have taught me so much about life and myself and what is important to me; I value your friendships more than anything. I just want you guys to know that each and everyone of you means the world to me, and I don't know what I would have done without you this summer.
Algae, you are one of the most kind dedicated and honest guys I have ever met. I admire your sincerity and that you know what has to be said, and how to say it. I just want you to know how much your hugs mean to me, even if they do make me cry. Lastly, I really admire (if thats the right word) what you and Breeze have, and I hope it doens't take my whole life to find that kind of relationship.
We are so lucky to have Kasota. It is our own little sanctuary in a sometimes cruel and unpredictable world. Whenever I"m there, be it training, or with the kids, it feels like I"m coming home. I breathe easier, and I know no matter what, I'm accepted for who I am by all of you. You guys are my rock in a sea of uncertainty that is life.
I look up to all of you, in one way or another be it your confidence, your undying enthusiasm, or your fun-loving attitude. You are beautiful, talented people inside and out, don't ever forget that.
I love you all with all my heart, and each of you holds a special place in it. Thanks for the best summer of my life...I"m better now, for the knowing of you.
Love,
Mistical
Sunday, August 15, 2004
I love that i can be myself around him, and that we always have fun...no matter what. Its not such a big deal that he's prolly not interested in me romantically (though that would be nice...*sigh*) considering he has an apparent "special friend" - though i didn't know they were at that point. He can be such a flirt and I'm beginning to love that...mostly b/c I don't think it would work during the school year if anything were to happen b/w us. (not that it will)
I was at a party last night, a friend's 18th...definete blast, but i think i went to far considering the amount of alcohol I consummed. We were talking in the hot tub, and he brought up something interesting - that you still should have enough common sense to be faithful to someone you are dating/seeing, even if you have been drinking. And if you make out with someone else, maybe you aren't meant to be with your gf/bf. Anyway, he ended up drinking a bit (actually alot) too much, and puked (yummy eh?), then we ended up sharing a pillow and sleeping bag, b/c originally he wasn't going to be allowed to stay the night (long story). Maybe the hormones weren't totally in check at this point, because b4 i was totally supportive of his choice to be monogomus (spell much?), but i was very close to crossing the line into making out with him...its just been to long, and i'm suffering like crazy...anyway, didn't actually make out, but there were some pictures taken that would suggest otherwise. I'll leave it at that.
On a slightly different topic, but still last night...something is kinda freaking me out - some of the guys had brought pot and went to smoke up in fish creek. He and I and a couple other ppl were going to go meet the guys with it, and if they hadn't already come back by the time we were ready to leave I probably would have tried it, and that scares the hell out of me. Talk about inhibited judgement.
Overall though, it was one of the best weekends for drunken fun-ness, though i could have always gone for some lovin'...
I was at a party last night, a friend's 18th...definete blast, but i think i went to far considering the amount of alcohol I consummed. We were talking in the hot tub, and he brought up something interesting - that you still should have enough common sense to be faithful to someone you are dating/seeing, even if you have been drinking. And if you make out with someone else, maybe you aren't meant to be with your gf/bf. Anyway, he ended up drinking a bit (actually alot) too much, and puked (yummy eh?), then we ended up sharing a pillow and sleeping bag, b/c originally he wasn't going to be allowed to stay the night (long story). Maybe the hormones weren't totally in check at this point, because b4 i was totally supportive of his choice to be monogomus (spell much?), but i was very close to crossing the line into making out with him...its just been to long, and i'm suffering like crazy...anyway, didn't actually make out, but there were some pictures taken that would suggest otherwise. I'll leave it at that.
On a slightly different topic, but still last night...something is kinda freaking me out - some of the guys had brought pot and went to smoke up in fish creek. He and I and a couple other ppl were going to go meet the guys with it, and if they hadn't already come back by the time we were ready to leave I probably would have tried it, and that scares the hell out of me. Talk about inhibited judgement.
Overall though, it was one of the best weekends for drunken fun-ness, though i could have always gone for some lovin'...
Saturday, August 07, 2004
...random...confusion...
*sigh*
I'm not so much confused, more.....i don't even know how do describe it. on the topic of boys btw...its not like i've ever really got the "i'm interested" vibe from him, especially since i've heard from his friend (also my friend) that he's interested in "some girl right now", even though she doesn't know i like him, but i'm pretty sure its a school friend, and i just can't see him liking an older girl (even if its not even a 2 year difference). and i think if i told her i liked him then he would some how find out which would be good, or very very awkward....grrrrr...and maybe i don't even like him, i just need someone to like...maybe, though i don't think i would feel like this if that was the case. ok...so i lied, apparently i'm super confused...
i may come back to that topic, since it is part of this next part.
as an update, camp is awesome, I'm having an absolute blast! I love the ppl i work with (last year i just kinda felt like an outsider, because most of the other counsellors were so much older than me), they are so much fun...thank goodness the storming/anger week is over! I hate the feeling of being pissed off at ppl, though i can't get away from the slight jealosy for what i don't have in the way of a close guy friend/bf, like some of the other staff have. i hate that...
I don't know what else to say...
my heart just hurts
/// I Wouldn’t Be Surprised /// I wouldn’t be surprised at all and i / i wouldn’t take offense to anything they said / this time i’ll follow this path / something made me open up / my eyes grew wide as they opened up / my thoughts were plenty full of courage / lasting a long day / but i still have questions / i’ll figure this out i’ll figure this out / by this time tomorrow / i’ll be where i need to be / look at what i’ve become / look to see just who i am / take my words write them down / read them over and out loud / then you will see / i close my eyes its coming fast you won’t know it until it’s gone / makes its way to the ground until it finally reaches you / things may fall and things may break as they do these things will change / things will be in front of you and you won’t know until they scream / i’m standing here out in the cold
....Today and After....
I'm not so much confused, more.....i don't even know how do describe it. on the topic of boys btw...its not like i've ever really got the "i'm interested" vibe from him, especially since i've heard from his friend (also my friend) that he's interested in "some girl right now", even though she doesn't know i like him, but i'm pretty sure its a school friend, and i just can't see him liking an older girl (even if its not even a 2 year difference). and i think if i told her i liked him then he would some how find out which would be good, or very very awkward....grrrrr...and maybe i don't even like him, i just need someone to like...maybe, though i don't think i would feel like this if that was the case. ok...so i lied, apparently i'm super confused...
i may come back to that topic, since it is part of this next part.
as an update, camp is awesome, I'm having an absolute blast! I love the ppl i work with (last year i just kinda felt like an outsider, because most of the other counsellors were so much older than me), they are so much fun...thank goodness the storming/anger week is over! I hate the feeling of being pissed off at ppl, though i can't get away from the slight jealosy for what i don't have in the way of a close guy friend/bf, like some of the other staff have. i hate that...
I don't know what else to say...
my heart just hurts
/// I Wouldn’t Be Surprised /// I wouldn’t be surprised at all and i / i wouldn’t take offense to anything they said / this time i’ll follow this path / something made me open up / my eyes grew wide as they opened up / my thoughts were plenty full of courage / lasting a long day / but i still have questions / i’ll figure this out i’ll figure this out / by this time tomorrow / i’ll be where i need to be / look at what i’ve become / look to see just who i am / take my words write them down / read them over and out loud / then you will see / i close my eyes its coming fast you won’t know it until it’s gone / makes its way to the ground until it finally reaches you / things may fall and things may break as they do these things will change / things will be in front of you and you won’t know until they scream / i’m standing here out in the cold
....Today and After....
