Monday, November 24, 2003
All I want is a “convoluted red form with a linear green attachment”* from a guy…
Geez, you never realize how important friends are, until you eat dinner alone in a busy caf…or in this case, in your room, (though the food is actually good today *gasp*), or walk around campus and never see anyone you know, unless they are in your classes. I don’t even ever see people from my floor. It’s just like a mini-city, made up of a bunch of young adults and boring profs. I think it may have finally clicked, that I’m at university, and not just what feels like an extened summer camp, in a city, where you get homework. I know it sounds pretty dumb, but that’s the way it seemed for the first few months. The really weird thing is I still feel like I should be back in junior high….or maybe even elementary…I certainly don’t feel like I am 6 days (but who’s counting) away from being 18. Its really scary that in 6 short days I will be an adult…with which comes a ton of freedom …and responsibility. What were they thinking when they made 18 the legal age…I don’t feel old enough to vote….which brings up another interesting point….the fact that the first thing that comes to people’s minds when the turn 18 is….wow I can drink legally now…not, wow, I actually have a say in the politics of my country now. No wonder the voter turnout for age 18-24 is so low. Sadly the other thing that comes to mind when I think about turning 18 is the fact that I would say I haven’t had a real boyfriend yet…I know many of you may be thinking, what about Nathan (AKA…the boy from Abbotsford), but to be completely honest we didn’t ever really know each other well enough to be considered actually dating. I was talking to a friend of mine who is turning 19 next summer…which will be here b4 we know it… she hasn’t had a boyfriend yet either…not even the experience of what goes along with it I mean, what if I never find “the one”, I know they won’t be perfect…but they’ll be perfect enough for me…the real problem is finding them…I think one of my real fears is never finding that person, the one I would feel comfortable telling anything too, and that I could trust with my life. I know I will always have friends to take care of me…but friend love is different than “husband-wife love”. Friends will always be there, but they also have their own lives….they aren’t there to share almost every aspect of your life with. I know I’m not even 18, but I hear about friends who, to quote one of them, are “falling hard and fast”. Like honestly, am I missing something here on the “how to meet the right guy 101”, and by the right guy I mean…the one who likes me for who I am, and not who they want me to be. The other thing that worries me about this whole relationship business…is the fact that 2 people that seem so happy together can break up out of the blue…it just doesn’t make sense!
Sorry for all my ranting…I’m sure most of it doesn’t make sense, and I’m not about to read it over to make sure it does. I am actually doing fine…and super excited for my bday….Bellini (sp) wed at moxies on the 3rd….i’m excited…that and the fact that is also the last day of school…crazy that I’m almost done my first semester of university…ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*For those that were wondering…the “convoluted red form with a linear green attachment”….its a rose. ;)
Well, that was probably 1/2hr too much procrastinating for me…but that’s too bad. Guess what! 31 days till Christmas…22 days till I come home….PARTY IN 25!!!!
Geez, you never realize how important friends are, until you eat dinner alone in a busy caf…or in this case, in your room, (though the food is actually good today *gasp*), or walk around campus and never see anyone you know, unless they are in your classes. I don’t even ever see people from my floor. It’s just like a mini-city, made up of a bunch of young adults and boring profs. I think it may have finally clicked, that I’m at university, and not just what feels like an extened summer camp, in a city, where you get homework. I know it sounds pretty dumb, but that’s the way it seemed for the first few months. The really weird thing is I still feel like I should be back in junior high….or maybe even elementary…I certainly don’t feel like I am 6 days (but who’s counting) away from being 18. Its really scary that in 6 short days I will be an adult…with which comes a ton of freedom …and responsibility. What were they thinking when they made 18 the legal age…I don’t feel old enough to vote….which brings up another interesting point….the fact that the first thing that comes to people’s minds when the turn 18 is….wow I can drink legally now…not, wow, I actually have a say in the politics of my country now. No wonder the voter turnout for age 18-24 is so low. Sadly the other thing that comes to mind when I think about turning 18 is the fact that I would say I haven’t had a real boyfriend yet…I know many of you may be thinking, what about Nathan (AKA…the boy from Abbotsford), but to be completely honest we didn’t ever really know each other well enough to be considered actually dating. I was talking to a friend of mine who is turning 19 next summer…which will be here b4 we know it… she hasn’t had a boyfriend yet either…not even the experience of what goes along with it I mean, what if I never find “the one”, I know they won’t be perfect…but they’ll be perfect enough for me…the real problem is finding them…I think one of my real fears is never finding that person, the one I would feel comfortable telling anything too, and that I could trust with my life. I know I will always have friends to take care of me…but friend love is different than “husband-wife love”. Friends will always be there, but they also have their own lives….they aren’t there to share almost every aspect of your life with. I know I’m not even 18, but I hear about friends who, to quote one of them, are “falling hard and fast”. Like honestly, am I missing something here on the “how to meet the right guy 101”, and by the right guy I mean…the one who likes me for who I am, and not who they want me to be. The other thing that worries me about this whole relationship business…is the fact that 2 people that seem so happy together can break up out of the blue…it just doesn’t make sense!
Sorry for all my ranting…I’m sure most of it doesn’t make sense, and I’m not about to read it over to make sure it does. I am actually doing fine…and super excited for my bday….Bellini (sp) wed at moxies on the 3rd….i’m excited…that and the fact that is also the last day of school…crazy that I’m almost done my first semester of university…ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*For those that were wondering…the “convoluted red form with a linear green attachment”….its a rose. ;)
Well, that was probably 1/2hr too much procrastinating for me…but that’s too bad. Guess what! 31 days till Christmas…22 days till I come home….PARTY IN 25!!!!
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