.be happy for this moment.this moment is your life.

So they say that about 40% of teens (to midtwenty's) have more than the occasional white/black head...ummm, i don't think so. Of the people i see in a day around the U. there is maybe 1 or 2 other people (if I'm "lucky") with acne possibly close to the severity of mine. Honestly i think they need to review their stats. though apparently "adult acne" is on the rise, and no matter how mean it sounds (sorry for the bitterness) I hope that all those people in junior, senior, and even now that think that i'm not worthy of being talked to, or they look down on me or think i don't wash my face...etc...etc I hope they are the ones that get the so called adult acne....even if it is just a month - so they can get a taste of what i had to live with for my entire teen life. The time when i was supposed to be out having a blast, dating guys, having "the best days of my life", but instead was stuck dealing with skin problems. Now, don't get me wrong, its not that i didn't have fun, or friends for that matter (and those of you that can look beyond the condition of people's skin are truely angels), i had an absolute blast, I just can't help wondering what life in junior and senior high would have been like if i had had clear skin. I know its the past...and all that "what if..." stuff is hardly worth thinking about, but i can't help be curious. I mean seriously, the only time it seemed like guys were interested in me is the brief period that i didn't have terrible acne (like it is now) the only reason being that i was taking 200 mg of minocycline a day (like i am now, in the hope it will work again)), and i don't know if thats just a conincidence, or a definete relation. And maybe it had to do with the fact that i had more self confidence...even now, i know i'm a strong girl, and i will get through it, but some days its a friggin losing battle/uphill climb...etc, and the thing that bugs me the most is the looks that i get from people, and the fact that someof them are so narrow-minded they can't look beyond the superficial aspect of me. Even if they are the select few, some of the looks i get are more of disgust than pity...those are the people that really make me angry. And to everyone else (i think i have said this before)...i hope they are just thankful they don't have the skin problems i do. i know that it is not the end of the world,and i could have many other worse problem, and for that i am eternally grateful, it is just some days....i just want to scream with exasperation...when i'm talking to people, i don't want them being totally focused on my skin...i want them to be listening to what i have to say, and not care about what i look like.

(sorry this is so jumbled...and i know i've said most of it before...it's just built up again, and i had to get it out of my system)