Saturday, August 07, 2004
...random...confusion...
*sigh*
I'm not so much confused, more.....i don't even know how do describe it. on the topic of boys btw...its not like i've ever really got the "i'm interested" vibe from him, especially since i've heard from his friend (also my friend) that he's interested in "some girl right now", even though she doesn't know i like him, but i'm pretty sure its a school friend, and i just can't see him liking an older girl (even if its not even a 2 year difference). and i think if i told her i liked him then he would some how find out which would be good, or very very awkward....grrrrr...and maybe i don't even like him, i just need someone to like...maybe, though i don't think i would feel like this if that was the case. ok...so i lied, apparently i'm super confused...
i may come back to that topic, since it is part of this next part.
as an update, camp is awesome, I'm having an absolute blast! I love the ppl i work with (last year i just kinda felt like an outsider, because most of the other counsellors were so much older than me), they are so much fun...thank goodness the storming/anger week is over! I hate the feeling of being pissed off at ppl, though i can't get away from the slight jealosy for what i don't have in the way of a close guy friend/bf, like some of the other staff have. i hate that...
I don't know what else to say...
my heart just hurts
/// I Wouldn’t Be Surprised /// I wouldn’t be surprised at all and i / i wouldn’t take offense to anything they said / this time i’ll follow this path / something made me open up / my eyes grew wide as they opened up / my thoughts were plenty full of courage / lasting a long day / but i still have questions / i’ll figure this out i’ll figure this out / by this time tomorrow / i’ll be where i need to be / look at what i’ve become / look to see just who i am / take my words write them down / read them over and out loud / then you will see / i close my eyes its coming fast you won’t know it until it’s gone / makes its way to the ground until it finally reaches you / things may fall and things may break as they do these things will change / things will be in front of you and you won’t know until they scream / i’m standing here out in the cold
....Today and After....
I'm not so much confused, more.....i don't even know how do describe it. on the topic of boys btw...its not like i've ever really got the "i'm interested" vibe from him, especially since i've heard from his friend (also my friend) that he's interested in "some girl right now", even though she doesn't know i like him, but i'm pretty sure its a school friend, and i just can't see him liking an older girl (even if its not even a 2 year difference). and i think if i told her i liked him then he would some how find out which would be good, or very very awkward....grrrrr...and maybe i don't even like him, i just need someone to like...maybe, though i don't think i would feel like this if that was the case. ok...so i lied, apparently i'm super confused...
i may come back to that topic, since it is part of this next part.
as an update, camp is awesome, I'm having an absolute blast! I love the ppl i work with (last year i just kinda felt like an outsider, because most of the other counsellors were so much older than me), they are so much fun...thank goodness the storming/anger week is over! I hate the feeling of being pissed off at ppl, though i can't get away from the slight jealosy for what i don't have in the way of a close guy friend/bf, like some of the other staff have. i hate that...
I don't know what else to say...
my heart just hurts
/// I Wouldn’t Be Surprised /// I wouldn’t be surprised at all and i / i wouldn’t take offense to anything they said / this time i’ll follow this path / something made me open up / my eyes grew wide as they opened up / my thoughts were plenty full of courage / lasting a long day / but i still have questions / i’ll figure this out i’ll figure this out / by this time tomorrow / i’ll be where i need to be / look at what i’ve become / look to see just who i am / take my words write them down / read them over and out loud / then you will see / i close my eyes its coming fast you won’t know it until it’s gone / makes its way to the ground until it finally reaches you / things may fall and things may break as they do these things will change / things will be in front of you and you won’t know until they scream / i’m standing here out in the cold
....Today and After....
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