Monday, November 22, 2004
such a weird day...
so i was in stats today, and i don't know really what set me off, but there are these 2 guys that sit in front of me, and the one guy is usually late, so he climbs over his friend (yes the rows are that close together) to get to the seat beside him, and he goes to sit down and ends up pulling his friends notes with him, almost to the point of sitting on them. (i'm sure it was one of those you had to be there things) so i just kinda had my quiet laugh, and so did a friend of mine, but i dont know what i found so funny about it, but i kinda ended up almost bursting out laughing (you know where you hold it in, cuz its innappropriate...yeah, i was past that stage), and then i felt bad...but i couldnt look at them with out thinking it was funny.
then probably about 1/2 way through class i started thinking about the weekend, and how much it sucked...and then about things that chris and i had done...and how it would never be like that again, and i prolly could have started crying, had i not been in class. my emotions just can't take it anymore. i think what i really need is closure.
<---it doesn't have to be this, but i thought it was funny...and right now i'm that angry, and yet when i think about things b/w us...things that i always wanted to happen with a guy (the little things, that he prolly didn't realize meant anything), i don't want to be mad at him (and myself), and i want to go back to the way things were. and yet, i don't think thats possible, b/c i'm going to have a REALLY difficult time being able to trust him again.
then probably about 1/2 way through class i started thinking about the weekend, and how much it sucked...and then about things that chris and i had done...and how it would never be like that again, and i prolly could have started crying, had i not been in class. my emotions just can't take it anymore. i think what i really need is closure.
<---it doesn't have to be this, but i thought it was funny...and right now i'm that angry, and yet when i think about things b/w us...things that i always wanted to happen with a guy (the little things, that he prolly didn't realize meant anything), i don't want to be mad at him (and myself), and i want to go back to the way things were. and yet, i don't think thats possible, b/c i'm going to have a REALLY difficult time being able to trust him again.
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