Wednesday, November 03, 2004
what is it that i want???
So I have come to the conclusion that as much fun as i have with these improptu "relationships" (if you can even call them that), what i really want is the lead up... I mean, not jumping right into anything. I want the smiles, the first awkward hello, or attempt at a pick-up line...or even just starting as friends, but both wanting it to go further...later, as in weeks later. I want the little notes that mean they are thinking of me, the 2 or 3 hour dates...like dinner and or a movie, but save something (ie the making out) for a 2nd or even 3rd or 4th date. I like the whole idea of getting to know them a little more in person (not just talking on the phone or msn for hours...sure it works, but i want to spend time just talking/listening to them, with nothing else going on...just as friends). I mean, as fun as the impromptu make out sessions (for lack of a better phrase), i need to see myself as your friend, as well as a romantic interest, not just a make-out buddy. My emotions can't handle anymore of that. I don't want to be the rebound girl, or just someone you think you can make out with cuz you think thats what i want...i got my fill of it these last few months. as much as i needed it, and i don't regret either situation, i need to be in a real relationship, and a kiss is ok, but somethings (not implying anything like that happened), need to wait until it is an official relationship.
I need someone with motivation and with similar goals...ie thinking more ahead, like i do...as much as i like the idea of the whole opposites attract...but still taking it with a grain of salt...you still have to be able to get along, and if you are such polar opposites about somethings, even if the chemistry is there, its not likely to work. And just to vent...i know i can't change someone, and i need to like them for them, all there little quirks included...one thing that i can't handle is a lot of swearing. I mean, in some situations i can understand it, if you're really upset, then bust it out, by all means. But in every day conversation....its really unnecessary...be creative people....really!! ( i have a feeling i've said this before...but there ya go).
I'm sick of rushing into things...and then running into a brick wall, b/c i'm in a situation that i don't want to be in yet, and of course i draw the line (I'm not stupid), but i hate that i let it get to that point so quickly.
and in closing, i have come to the conclusion that i have a major fear of male body parts...luckily right now...but it could be a problem in the future.
I need someone with motivation and with similar goals...ie thinking more ahead, like i do...as much as i like the idea of the whole opposites attract...but still taking it with a grain of salt...you still have to be able to get along, and if you are such polar opposites about somethings, even if the chemistry is there, its not likely to work. And just to vent...i know i can't change someone, and i need to like them for them, all there little quirks included...one thing that i can't handle is a lot of swearing. I mean, in some situations i can understand it, if you're really upset, then bust it out, by all means. But in every day conversation....its really unnecessary...be creative people....really!! ( i have a feeling i've said this before...but there ya go).
I'm sick of rushing into things...and then running into a brick wall, b/c i'm in a situation that i don't want to be in yet, and of course i draw the line (I'm not stupid), but i hate that i let it get to that point so quickly.
and in closing, i have come to the conclusion that i have a major fear of male body parts...luckily right now...but it could be a problem in the future.
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