.be happy for this moment.this moment is your life.

To “some pipeline guy”…

I wish you didn’t see yourself that way, because, even if that is what you do, that doesn’t really make it who you are – at least in my opinion. Over the past month and a bit you have treated me better than any other guy up to the present. You have called regularly, even when you were going out with the guys, or had a tiring day. You are the first guy to actually listen to me when I talk, and be interested (or at least do a good job of pretending). We have had actual conversations about things that matter, and even though it is hard to get to know someone over the phone, I’d say we’ve done a pretty good job. When you are in town, which yes, isn’t often enough – but I’ll survive, we always have a good time, at least I think so. We’ve done more than just “dinner and a movie”, which I love. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with watching movies and just hanging out, but going to plays and to hear live music is amazing!

I know that sometimes it does just seem like a “booty call” when you are in town, but its not like that is all we do. In my inexperienced opinion, we do have something more than that – the foundation of a longer lasting relationship. I don’t believe in spending every living, breathing moment with a person – I don’t think you can without going a little crazy, and I also think that if you don’t spend time with your friends, you have a good chance of losing them.

Like I said, we have had real conversations about real things, and if you can’t talk with someone (as opposed to at them, or not at all for that matter), then there really isn’t anything other than the physical attraction. You treat me like a real person, with feelings, and thoughts, and not just like some chick (even if you do call most girls chicks…).

Maybe this is just dropping a cliché in there, but I really think I am learning things from you already, especially about myself. You definitely have some different experiences than me, but then again, I know there are things I’ve done that you haven’t also.

I do appreciate the respect you have toward me, and I know it is still early, but I don’t know if I agree with the whole thing that you don’t want to be the one to take my virginity. I get that you might feel guilty, if down the road I look back and think that I just lost it to some “pipeliner guy that wasn’t around much”. But up to now, you have shown me that you are more than that. I know that its a subject not to be taken lightly and its something you should only be doing with someone you care about, but I don’t know if you can really say that we never will. Its not like we haven’t come close on a couple of occasions. That is like saying what we have won’t last, and that scares me a bit. I think we do have a connection, and maybe I am way off base here, this is something I could see going on for a longer time.

School is important to me, and I think you understand that, and that is why its good, in a way, that you aren’t always here, because it gives me time to focus on school, without feeling guilty for not spending time with you. In learning what is important to someone, you learn a lot about their character, and what they want out of life. You have always been honest with me about that and I appreciate it more than I think you will know.

If I wasn’t already, I’m falling for you now. You aren’t just some pipeline guy to me, right now you are just the kind of person I want and need.


“So, what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?
Woooaaah, so I never want to leave you and the memories for us to see
I beg don't leave me…
…Please tell me what we have is real” – .Seize the Day .. Avenged Sevenfold.